


You Really Shouldn’t Be Surprised By Now.

by Messi10_Neymar11



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Barça players are already obsessed with Leo’s ass, Cris gains an obsession with Leo’s ass, It’s Sergio’s fault, Jordi you're the reason I’m here, M/M, When isn’t it Sergio’s fault
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2017-10-17
Packaged: 2019-01-18 01:06:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12377739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Messi10_Neymar11/pseuds/Messi10_Neymar11
Summary: Five times Cristiano couldn’t stop himself from touching the butt, and one time he didn’t have to.(Cris watches Nemo and gets ideas)[Recipe For Disaster]{Why Am I Writing This}





	1. Chapter 1

“What are you doing?” Cristiano hums to his nieces and nephews. 

 

“We’re watching Nemo!” Annalise says happily. “Join us please, Unlcle Cris!”

 

”Alright, alright!” The Portuguese huffed playfully, pulling the eight year old into his lap. “What’s it about?”

 

”So there’s this family of clown fish, but the mommy and babies got eaten by a shark!”

 

”The fuck!?”

 

”Fuck?”

 

”Shit- don’t say that!”

 

”Fuck! Shit!”

 

”Annalise stop! Bad words! Your mom will kill me!”

 

“Okay. Anyways, so they all died except for one of the babies who has an injured fin. And because most of the family is gone, the dad is super protective of the baby- who is Nemo. He’s like- SUPER protective! He doesn’t even want Nemo to go to school but Nemo really wants to so right now is his first day and his friends are daring him to touch the butt.”

 

”Touch the _what_?” Cristiano asks in disbelief.

 

”The butt- now shhh. We’re watching.” Annalise hushed.

 

”This is a children’s movie?” Cristiano mumbled to himself. All of a sudden his phone rings and he pulls it out, seeing that Sergio had texted in the group chat and attached a gif.

 

He opens up the app.

 

His breath hitches.

 

**Sergio Ramos:** _Barça players have some serious obsession with Messi’s ass. I swear!_

 

Cristiano stared with parted lips, mesmerized at how Neymar slapped Messi’s ass, making the skin pop more than usual in the red shorts.

 

 **Toni Kroos:** _Seriously Sergio._

 

 **Karim Benzema:** _You’re fucked up man._

 

 **Gareth (Arugela Eater) Bale:** _Why did I join this team.._

 

 **Marcy Marcelo:** _Literally everyone in football does it Sergio- why you gotta make a big deal out of it when it’s Barcelona??_

 

 **Isco:** _That is a nice ass though._

 

 **Casemiro:** _I don’t blame Neymar for touching._

 

 **Hammy Rodriguez:** _You guys! That’s so inappropriate and rude!_

 

 **San Iker:** _Sergio I’m kicking you out if you keep sending dumb shit like this._

 

 **Cris:** _All of you are idiots._

 

Cristiano was flushed, cheeks turning red as he continued to stare at how Lionel Messi’s ass jiggled by the smack.

 

He closes his phone in a panic, looking up at the tv to distract himself.

 

He watched as Nemo swam under the boat, his father calling to his son.

 

Then, Nemo reached out and slapped a fin against the bottom of the boat.

 

”He touched the butt!”

 

”I wanna touch the butt..” Cristiano mumbles to himself.

 

”What?”

 

”Nothing!”

 

~

 

He watched as Messi came down the steps of the Bernabeu, having to stare through the holes of the wall that separates the two teams. He swallowed as his eyes lowered to that ass...

 

He turns to the front, swallowing thickly as he tried to focus on the game.

 

Okay- so maybe he didn’t need to defend, but he was helping his team alright?

 

That’s obviously the perfect reason as to why he tackled Messi down to the grass.

 

The referee blew his whistle and Messi pants from beneath Cristiano, neck red and covered in a sheen layer of sweat. 

 

He goes to push himself up from the grass, and Cristiano stared at the plump butt that the red cloth tightened around.

 

Cristiano couldn’t help himself.

 

He puts a hand against Messi’s ass and squeezed as he pushed himself up. A choked gasp leaves the Argentine’s lips, body tensing as Cristiano let go. 

 

_God what an ass.. so firm and muscled.._

 

Messi turns his head towards Cristiano slowly, lips parted in shock and cheeks flushed, eyes filled with disbelief.

 

Cristiano pretends that he never meant to do that, standing up calmly and turning to the referee. Messi is still staring at him intensely, trying to figure out if his actions were intentional or not.

 

When Cristiano keeps his bitch face up, Messi flushes even darker, slapping a hand against his forehead as if scolding himself for thinking wrongly of Cristiano. Cris feels guilty, because there was nothing innocent about what he’d done.

 

He had to control himself from touching it again when Messi stood up and quickly walked away, an embarrassed expression on his face. 

 

Besides- it was a one time thing only.


	2. Chapter 2

 

The second time Cristiano touched Leo’s ass, it started out purely innocent.

 

He had just finished a photo shoot in the main Nike Football building, when he saw him.

 

”What are you doing?”

 

Leo, slightly startled, looked over to where Cristiano was standing at the doorway. He was pressed up against a tall shelf, on his tippy toes.

 

”I.. I was trying to grab my bag.”

 

Cristiano flickered his eyes up to where the duffel bag was on the highest shelf above. “What’s it doing up there?”

 

Leo sighed, falling back on his heels and taking a step back from the shelf. “I left the room and I guess the cleaners came in- they must’ve put it up there when it got in the way.”

 

Cristiano walks over and Leo watched him carefully as he reached up for it. “What are _you_ doing here then? Last time I checked, you were signed with Adidas.”

 

”Yeah, well.. I was here to take pictures with our new kit.” Leo mumbled, blinking when Cristiano’s hand barely reached the top. The Portuguese muttered out a couple curses, reaching for it again. “I thought Barcelona finished their pictures yesterday.”

 

”I couldn’t come. They told me to come back today to finish up.” Leo shrugs and Cristiano backed away after another failed attempt. “Isn’t there a stool or something here?”

 

Leo stared at him. “You don’t have to help me.”

 

Cristiano bit the inside of his cheek. “Yeah, well- I want to.”

 

Leo softened a bit at that. “I’m not sure. I tried to look for one but there’s nothing in this room.”

 

”Did you check the closet?”

 

Leo blinked. “Oh.”

 

”You didn’t, did you?”

 

”No.”

 

Cristiano rolled his eyes and tried to bite back a small smile making its way to his face.

 

He walks over and opens the supply closet. Sure enough, there was a tall stool sitting in the corner. Grabbing it, he walked back over to the shelf and set it down. “Here.”

 

“Thank you.” Leo’s voice is small. “No problem.” Cristiano watched as the Argentine stepped onto it, peeking up.

 

He reaches over to grab it and Cristiano started turning to leave when he stopped. “Leo! Your foot-“

 

Leo stepped on the edge, stool tipping over and slipping out from under his feet, falling to the tiled floor with a loud clank. A shriek left the younger man as he failed his arms around in panic. Cristiano surged forward, catching him in time as the duffled bag Leo had grabbed fell to the floor loudly.

 

Cristiano stood, tensed as Leo clung to his neck in fright.

 

“Are you oka-“

 

He stopped.

 

_Hands._

 

_Hands on ass._

_Hands on very nice ass._

 

Cristiano tried to control himself from just full out squeeezing around each cheek, but his restraint was slipping slowly the more aware he became of what he was touching. Leo pulled back a bit to give Cristiano a sheepish look. “I’m sorr-“

 

Cristiano is a little shit- a little shit that shamelessly squeezed the muscled ass with vigor. In his defense, it was natural to do it- he couldn’t help himself.

 

Leo squeaked, eyes widening to stare at Cristiano in shock. 

 

Cristiano stared back.

 

They stared at each other for a while.

 

A long, long, _long_ while.

 

Leo scowls then, cheeks flushing. “That first time wasn’t an accident then, huh?” He whispered.

 

Cristiano smirked. “What are you talking about, Messi?”

 

Leo looked at him in absolute disbelief. “What the hell Cristiano?”

 

Cristiano put him down until his feet touched the floor, giving the ass one last rough squeeze before pulling off. “See you soon!” He waves innocently, leaving the room while Leo stared after him in embarrassment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Sighs*


End file.
